A girls guide to dating

Self-care is essential, so let’s acknowledge a few truths:

• Not everyone you date is meant to be your next partner.

• Not every relationship will lead to marriage.

• Your age is not a limiting factor.

• The allure of "bad boys" is often just their confidence, not their actual qualities.

Think of dating like a job interview. You’ve found a potential person to fill a role in your life, but first, you need to gauge your interest through conversation. Meet a few times, assess the connection, and determine if they align with your energy and values. This helps you decide whether they’re worth a probationary period in your life—also known as dating.

I’m not suggesting you interrogate them with a barrage of questions or make things feel forced, but rather approach the process as a conversation with someone who may or may not be a match for your needs and desires. Remember, there will be more potential connections ahead—some will spark interest, and others may not make the cut. This is all part of the journey of love and life. Pre-Date Preparation

• Before heading out, take a moment to reflect on your true intentions and what you're hoping to achieve from the date.

• Understand the difference between your wants and needs—your wants can be flexible, but your needs are non-negotiable. Do you know what your needs are?

✔️ Allow him to choose the venue, or offer a few options for him to decide from. This will give you insight into his preferences and shows he’s putting in effort.

✔️ Plan your outfit in advance and choose something that makes you feel confident. And remember the date night rule: keep it balanced—either legs or cleavage, not both.

✔️ To ensure you’re in a positive headspace, take a little time for yourself before the date. Have a glass of wine, listen to music, and enjoy the process of getting ready.

🚩 If he cancels the date last minute, take the time to assess whether you want to reschedule or move on. A genuinely interested man will show up. During the Date

✔️ Clarify your intentions: Be honest about what you’re looking for. Avoid saying “I’m open to anything, let’s just go with the flow” if you're not actually open to a casual connection and are seeking something more meaningful and committed.

✔️ Be authentic: Share who you truly are—your interests, your passions, and what you enjoy. If you’re feeling nervous, whether it’s speaking too much or too little, or laughing nervously, be upfront about it. Showing vulnerability and honesty can help create a more genuine connection and let them know you just need a little more time to feel at ease.

Focus on your feelings: Instead of worrying about whether they like you, ask yourself: Do you like them? Are you genuinely interested in them?

Consider the chemistry: Is there a natural connection or spark between you two?

Could you see a friendship?: Do you enjoy their company and find the conversation engaging?

🚩 Put your phone away: Keep it in your bag and focus on being present.

🚩 Don’t chase what’s not there: If it’s clear that the interest or chemistry isn’t mutual, don’t pursue it further. Respect the situation and move on.

If You Met Online (via DMs or a Swipe)

Catfishing is a real concern, so it's essential to take precautions. After some conversation, request a video call to confirm they are who they say they are. In 2020, video calls are the standard, and it’s perfectly reasonable to expect this.

⚠️ Safety First: Never have them pick you up from your home. Share their contact details and a photo with your best friend, and let someone know where you're going. Even better, share your GPS location for the night so someone can track where you are.

If you're coming from a history of domestic violence (DV), prioritize your safety even more. Trust your instincts and be extra cautious about sharing personal details or meeting up until you feel completely secure. It's always okay to take extra steps to ensure your emotional and physical well-being. Don't hesitate to reach out for support from friends, family, or professional resources when navigating these situations.

Dating can be an exciting adventure. Exploring new restaurants and activities with different people not only gives you unique experiences but also creates some memorable stories. There will be a few bad dates along the way, but don’t sweat it—consider them as practice. If things aren’t going well, kindly excuse yourself and move on. Always treat yourself like the queen you are, and stick to your standards. Remember, you are the prize (and he may be too), but the focus should always be on you!

Every relationship goes through five key stages: attraction, reality, commitment, intimacy, and engagement. Keep these in mind as you navigate the journey. Enjoy the ride and embrace the process of creating beautiful memories along the way.

Be a lover—give love, choose love, and spread positivity wherever you go.

More on this topic coming soon, so stay tuned.

Love is love. Although this blog uses male pronouns, the advice applies to all sexual orientations and gender identities.

#datingadvice #love #relationshipadvice