Reasons why people 'ghost'

Definition: the practice of ending a personal relationship with someone by suddenly and without explanation withdrawing from all communication.

The scenario: You’re talking to someone for a couple of weeks, been on a date and they seem super interested in you and then *boom* he is gone – no call, no message, no likes.

It leaves you questioning what happened. Did you say something? Do something? Miss something? Ghosting really only leaves you with questions and a sense of feeling undervalued, dismissed and just basically feeling shitty.

The reason why: The reason behind this behavior seems to stem from a fundamental shift in how society communicates. In today’s digital age, with dating apps and social media, many men may feel they have countless options at their fingertips. The culture of swiping and liking encourages surface-level interactions, which often replace more meaningful conversations, phone calls, and face-to-face meetings. A social media follow or DM is easy, requires little effort, and is far less intimidating than asking for someone’s number. This creates the illusion of having endless choices.

On a deeper level, I believe the root cause lies in a person’s maturity, communication skills, and overall emotional consideration. It also ties into a person's attachment style. , which plays a role in how they connect and commit to others.

Here are some other potential reasons/ideas why people ghost you:

• The excitement faded – Once the chase was over, they may have lost interest after getting what they wanted.

• Social acceptance – Ghosting has become more socially acceptable, and people often don’t call out friends who do it.

• Emotional immaturity – They might lack the maturity to handle difficult conversations or emotional situations.

• Friend-zoned – They may have placed you in the friend zone and didn't know how to communicate it.

• Avoidance of confrontation – They might lack the courage to face uncomfortable situations and prefer avoiding tough discussions.

• They met someone else – While this may sting, it’s part of dating. They could have been seeing multiple people and connected with someone they felt a stronger vibe with. It doesn’t mean you didn’t connect at all.

• Different goals – They may have realized you want different things out of the relationship.

• Personal struggles – They could be going through something personal that you’re unaware of, affecting their ability to communicate.

• Fear of rejection – They may have felt they didn’t meet your expectations and chose silence to avoid confrontation.

• Self-centeredness – They may prioritize their own wants and needs over your feelings.

• Lack of investment – They may not consider it ghosting, especially if you were only casually seeing each other.

• Silence as a message – Some may believe ghosting is kinder than saying, "I’m not into you."

• Keeping options open – They might just not be that interested but don't want to completely shut the door yet.

• Your inconsistency – If you were flaky or inconsistent yourself, they might have mirrored that behavior.

The reality is, you may never fully understand the reasons behind a situation and can only speculate. If you're considering ghosting someone, please reconsider. Here are some alternatives you can send via text:

1. "Hey, I had a great time with you, but I don't feel the spark/connection/vibe."

2. "Hi, I’ve decided I’m not ready for a relationship and would like to keep my options open."

3. "Thanks for reaching out, but I’m not interested in another date. Take care."